Donald Shoulberg
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Memorial services for Donald J. “Don” Shoulberg, 76, Lawrence, KS, will be held at 10 a.m. Saturday, March 30, 2013 at St. John the Evangelist Catholic Church in Lawrence. Private inurnment will be at a later date. He died on Tuesday evening, March 26, 2013 at Lawrence Memorial Hospital.
He was born on October 23, 1936 in Norristown, PA, the son of Charles C. & Catherine Wafer Shoulberg.
Don was a Marriage and Family Therapist.
He received his B.A. degree from Notre Dame University in South Bend, IN. He studied at Gregorian University in Rome, he then was ordained a Roman Catholic Priest Dec. 19, 1964 in Rome. He studied at the Institut Catholique in Paris and then returned to the United States. He taught at Notre Dame High School in Niles, IL. He achieved a Master’s degree at Duke University. He received a ThM. in Pastoral Psychology from Duke Divinity School. While living in a parish in Durham, he met his future wife, Gini Hartigan, who was a Dominican Nun and teacher.
Don then did an internship in Marriage and Family Therapy at the Institute for Religion in Houston, TX. In 1970, he started working at the University of Kansas in the Student Health Services and taught in the School of Social Welfare. He received a PhD. in Speech Communication and Human Relations from the University of Kansas. In 1981, he became the Director of Marriage and Family Services for Menniger, Kansas City. Since then, he served in a group practice in Kansas City and most recently, was in private practice in Lawrence.
He was a member of St. John the Evangelist Catholic Church, the Notre Dame University Alumni Association, and the Kansas Association of Marriage and Family Therapists.
He was married to Mary “Gini” Hartigan on July 10, 1971. She survives of the home.
Survivors include two daughters, Jennifer Shoulberg Lyon (husband, Steve Lyon), of Overland Park, KS, Erin Shoulberg (partner, Sherie Alden), of Ferrisburgh, VT; a son, Paul Shoulberg (wife, Jennifer Ruff), of Bloomington, IN; a twin-brother, Daniel Shoulberg, of Ambler, PA, another brother, Richard Shoulberg, of Norristown, PA; two sisters, Jude Totaro, Jenkintown, PA and Sister Cathe Shoulberg, of Blue Bell, PA; six grandchildren, Jackson James Lyon, Catherine Lyon, Ella Lyon, Isaiah Lyon, Clementine Shoulberg, and Tal Donald Shoulberg.
The family suggests memorials in his name to the St. John the Evangelist Catholic Church and School, the Lawrence Homeless Shelter, or to Grace Hospice and may be sent in care of Warren-McElwain Mortuary.
A Prayer Service will be at 5 p.m. Friday, March 29, 2013 at the mortuary followed by a visitation until tipoff time for the K.U. basketball game (approx. 6:30 p.m.).
I’m so sorry for your loss. Don was such a special person and I’m very fortunate to have known him. I wish all of the Shoulberg family peace and comfort during this time of mourning.
I’m very sorry to hear of this. Mr. Shoulberg was a significant part of my life growing up and always showed great patience and compassion. My condolences to the Shoulberg family.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Don was such a special person and I’m very fortunate to have known him. I wish all of the Shoulberg family peace and comfort during this time of mourning.
So sorry to hear of your loss. The Shoulberg family as well as St. Johns church has been a great influence on my life and the lives of my children. I hope you are able to find peace and comfort among one another.
Paul I know I had not seen him much since we were kids but I just always remember how cool and even tempered I thought he was. And how awesome his french looking hats were . Reading his background I had no clue of his studying in rome and the unique path his life took. Sorry for your loss and sorry for lawrence’s loss.
Sending prayers
Your family, your home, were my second family, my second home for many, many years. My hearts breaks for all of you. The world lost an amazing man with Don’s passing. I’ll always remember his warm smile, his genuineness, his sense of humor, and his love for all of you, his pride and joy, his family. His touch left the world a better place. My sincere condolences.
I’m so sorry for you loss. Mr. Shoulbery was always so nice and genuine. I remember him always showing great compassion when I spoke with him growing up. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
Very sorry to hear of the passing of Mr. Shoulberg. Condolences from the entire Shuckahosee family.
I’m sorry for your loss and the loss of a wonderful person in Don. The whole Shoulberg family was a big part of my childhood memories as well as Paul’s friendship through the years. I hope to be as gentle and thoughtful in my days as Don was to me and my family.
So sad to hear this news. Like so many others, I have great memories of my time spent with the Shoulberg family and wish you peace in this difficult time.
Jennifer and entire family, I am so sorry to hear about this. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. My deepest sympathy to you all. RIP
Gini- I have no words to properly convey my sadness in hearing of Don’s passing. Don was such a kind and gentle soul. I wish so much I could be with you in person. My condolences to you, your children, and family. God is with you.
Don will be greatly missed in the Lawrence community. He was such a nice human being-great roll model for all of us. Our condolences to all the Shoulberg’s our hearts & prayers are with you all.
I’m so sorry to hear of Don’s passing. I will forever be grateful to him for giving me wings for a new life.
We are so sorry to hear of your loss, Gini. Even though it has been many years since we have seen you and Don, we have such wonderful memories of you both. You and your family are in our prayers.
To the family: My sincere condolences. There is no greater pain than the death of a loved one. Sometimes it seems almost more than a person can bear. Jehovah God helps us with this in His word. He promises us that He will put a stop to all sickness and death will be no more (REV 21;3.4) Jehovah also shows His love for us through the ransom sacrifice of His beloved son Jesus Christ. What a wonderful gift to be given ! Then the hope of seeing one’s loved ones again on this earth transformed in a paradise as it was Jehovah’s will when He created Adam & Eve . (Genesis 1:26,27; John 5: 28,29; Psalms 37:11,22,29). If you have any questions or comments, please contact me at: ricruiz@aol.com
Sincerely.
Dear Gini & family. Don was one of a kind. May you be comforted by wonderful memories and may he rest in peace. He was a light in my life.
Dear Gini,
We are so saddened at the loss of Don, your best friend. Our thoughts and prayers of peace are with you.
We are shocked and saddened by your loss. Don was such a fine man and always such a gentleman. He is fondly remember by both of us. Please know that we will be praying for all of you at this painfull time.
We are so deeply saddened with the loss of Uncle Don. The entire family is in our thoughts and prayers. We love you.
I’m very sorry to hear of this. Mr. Shoulberg was a significant part of my life growing up and always showed great patience and compassion. My condolences to the Shoulberg family.
Blessed are we who knew you. When we get together this fall to celebrate 50 years if friendship, we’ll be recalling all of the joy that you have given to your family and friends and a life taken far too soon. Thank you for your many gifts and blessings.
It is with great sadness that I received the news of Don’s passing. He was someone I always felt I could talk to and I loved hearing about his family. He always wore a smile and was a caring, warm person. I know this is a difficult time and I send my deepest condolences to the family.
Mrs. Shoulberg, thinking of you and your family during this time and wishing you peace and love. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Erin – I am so very sorry for your and your family’s loss.
take care – you are in my prayers
Dear Gini and family,
Scott and I are so sorry to hear of your sweet husband passing. Don was such a gem and we always enjoyed seeing and hearing his wonderful stories.
He will be missed by us very much. I am sure he is enjoying his new journey talking about all his stories
in heaven. God Bless to you and will be praying for all of you.
Scott and Bernadette
So sorry to learn of Don’s death. He was one of the kindest and most sensitive friends I ever had the pleasure to know. we enjoyed tennis together many years ago, and I have always held him in highest regard.
So sorry to learn of Don’s death. He was one of the kindest and most sensitive friends I ever had the pleasure to know. we enjoyed tennis together many years ago, and I have always held him in highest regard.
We bothwere privileged to have Don as a loved and very important part of our lives and development as family therapists and human beings. He will continue to live on with us in spirit. Our hearts go out to the Shoulberg family in their loss and sorrow. This is a very special family who modeled grace and dignity in their most painful hours.
Gini Mark and I along with our kids are so sorry for your loss.
Seeing you and Don together was truly what love was and an inspiration to all of us.
God Bless you and your family
We were deeply saddened at Don’s passing. He and Eleanor Katz helped us through a difficult time in our marriage, and we continue to practice the insights that we gained from them. I hope that in our amateur ways, we have passed Don’s kindness and blessing to other struggling couples.
We have shared a similar journey, but in the end, as it should be, all roads lead to God. Know we are thinking of you, praying for you, and holding you in our hearts. Don and mom are probably saying to each other “What are you doing here?” and then, with open arms and smiles, “Welcome.” We love you! God Bless.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I had Erin in class at LHS, and I have such admiration for her and her family.
I happened to be reading a post on Facebook about someone’s service ending in time for the KU game and I felt obliged to read it. I had no idea it was Don and felt so sad to learn of his passing. I have such warm and wonderful memories of him and your whole family. My sincere condolences are sent to you all with much love and peace.
Jennifer, you, Steve and all the kids are not far from our hearts and thoughts. Much love
Paul – My thoughts are with you and your family. Very sorry to hear about your loss.
Don’s spirit is at play….the wake for the KU fan goes viral. It is the playful Don that I was so fond of. I am with you in spirit as you celebrate Don’s life this weekend. His footprint is profound in many of our lives. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
My big brother taught me everything I know about basketball! Sorry I was such a poor learner!
i want you all to know, he has been an amazing brother … I am beyond grateful!
Heaven is even better now that Don is there!
Ginny, Jenny and Erin, I was quite shocked to come across Don’s obituary while perusing KU basketball information. As you know, Don meant a great deal to me, as a therapist, a friend and a tennis player! When I was in Lawrence earlier this month visiting my daughters and grandchildren, I thought about calling Don to say hello; sure wish I had acted on that impulse. My thoughts and prayers shall accompany you on your journey of grief and loss. Godspeed!
Although I didn’t know Don, I saw the obituary on Yahoo Sports. I am sorry for your loss, but hope that Don will be able to celebrate in heaven a Hawk win tonight.
Gini and family – my family and I were so saddened to learn of Don’s passing. We did not know Don well, but since you chose him for your husband, we know he must have been a remarkable person! Our thoughts and prayers are with you all during this difficult time.
I’m so very sorry to hear of your loss. Don was a classmate of mine since 9th grade at East Norriton and then Norristown HIgh School, Class of 1955. He was the first person that befriended me when I arrived as a new student to East Norriton Jr. High. He was a good friend. My thoughts and prayers are with the whole Shoulberg family at this sad time.
My condolences to the entire Shoulberg family… I happen to see the story about Don’s passing on Yahoo Sports. Was shocked when I read the obit. I too am a native of Norristown, PA and was also born on October 23rd (1955)
And if I’m not mistaking Richard “Dick” Shoulberg was my swim coach at Mermaid Lake in Pennsylvania.
What a small world.
Don helped me in a difficult time in my life. When I asked him how long I would deal with the wieght of my problem he answered, “how long does it take to write a poem”. As his daughter said at his celebration, “Don gets it”; his simple advice helped me immensely. I was fortunate enough to experience his wisdom, as many have. Blessings to the Shoulberg family.
Mrs. Shoulberg- I am sorry for your loss. Mr. Shoulberg must have been special because he loved you and you are my very special teacher! Mae Douglas & family
Dear Ginny and family,
Don was a dear friend to Bill and Erika. In the words of my mother, “such a good and learned man.” She plans to send a letter of condolence, but for now our deepest sympathy from Erika, Kathy and Sandie, Binns, Jackson and Willey.
Dear Gini and family,
We were so saddened to hear of Don’s passing, especially since we were unaware of his condition and hospice care. Know that we are among hundreds and hundreds of people who have experienced his genuine, unreserved personal caring and support. We found him to be a consummate professional and caring friend.
We join you in grieving and celebrating his life simultaneously. We are out of town and are sorry to have missed the memorial service. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all as you readjust your lives in the coming months.
Warm regards,
Gary and Jeannie
Our hearts go out to you Gini and your family. Although we did not know Don that well, I know that anyone that you cherished as much as him could only have been a wonderful man. Our prayers are with you during this tough time.
Dear Gini and Family,
We are so sorry to hear of your loss. Don was a wonderful, gentle guy and we know he will be missed by all of his family and friends. He was truly the class act of this family. May you all find peace at this time .
Gini,
We are so sorry to here about your loss. Shelby was sad to here that families of 2 of her favorite teachers at St. John’s were going through such sad times right now. Peace, prayers and love are being sent your way during this difficult time. Deb, Shelby and Laurence Corder
I am so sorry for my tardiness! I didn’t know. I was a patient and knew of his illness, but was just trying to check up and found this. He was a wonderful person and I am and will be forever grateful for everything he did for me and my family! Everything has really started to fall into place and I wanted to share my happy news with the one person who helped me through so much in my life when I couldn’t see anyone else to share with! My heart most definately goes out to the family, he was a very wonderful person to have known!!!
I was hoping to have dinner with Don when I visit Kansas City later this month for the first time in years. I was very sad to learn of his death from fellow “Bowenian” Victoria Harrison. Don was my family therapy training mentor and therapist during a crucial time in my life. His kindness, wisdom, and wonderful sense of humor were a balm to my mind and soul. I will miss him greatly–so so sorry I waited too long to reconnect.
Michael Crouch, Sugar Land, Texas
I recently opened the KU Alumni magazine and learned of Don’s death. I must say, my heart sank. I had visited Don for over 20 years- from a newly wed with a “dysfunctional” family constellation, through the births of three kids, through divorce, the death of my parents. In so many ways he was truly the father and spiritual mentor we all wish we had. My heartfelt condolences for your loss. His face always lit up at mention of his family- you were all treasured by him. Don’s life was well-lived, and a blessing to all who knew him or sought his care.
To all,
Don was a treasure and a gift of light. As a patient, he helped me see what I didn’t necessarily want to see but better yet, gave me direction forward without ever directly telling me so. I know I’m late with this tribute; it doesn’t really matter now, does it?
RIP you kind but tough soul,
Chad Zimmerman
Portland, Oregon