Paul David Gray
Share
Paul David Gray, 75, Lawrence, KS, passed away peacefully into the arms of Jesus from lung complications on Thursday, September 22, 2022, surrounded by family. Paul was born on March 16, 1947 in Clinton, MO, the son of Wyley Lloyd and Anna Ruth (George) Gray. He married Margaret Ellen “Kitsy” Waggoner on May 31, 1969 in Kirkwood, MO. She survives of the home. Other survivors include his two daughters, Tacy Fleury (Leigh); Jody White; son, Jay Gray (Alexandra); and 6 grandchildren. He was preceded in death by his parents, brother Emery Frederick, and son-in-law Brandon White. Paul received a Bachelor of Music Education from the University of Kansas and is remembered for bringing joy to many while performing jazz with groups such as Paul Gray and the Gaslight Gang and the Junkyard Jazz Band of Lawrence. He served in the Army Reserves for 25 years, retiring with the rank of Chief Warrant Officer 4 as the commander of the 312th Army Band. Paul led New Life in Christ church as senior pastor for 30 years, holding a degree in Grace Theology from Global Grace Seminary. The family will greet friends from 6 – 8 p.m. on Friday, October 14, 2022, at Warren-McElwain Mortuary in Lawrence. A celebration of life service with military honors for Paul will be held at 10:00 a.m. on Saturday, October 15, 2022, at First United Methodist Church in Lawrence, Kansas.
In lieu of flowers memorial contributions may be made in Paul’s name to New Life in Christ and may be sent in care of Warren-McElwain Mortuary, 120 W. 13th Street, Lawrence, KS 66044.
For more information or to post a condolence go to warrenmcelwain.com.
The family asks that you leave your favorite memory of Paul on the website.
An indelible memory: Paul Gray & The Gaslight Gang. Always memorable. R.I.P.
Now that is a smile and eyes I will miss. Not to mention kindness, wit, endless source of encouragement, talented musician… we could all go on and on about Paul. I can’t imagine where I’d be in life without his influence and impact. <3
I’m so sorry to hear of the passing of my childhood and teenage next door neighbor. He was a wonderful friend, and I was his pianist at his many state trumpet competitions. He led an accomplished life, and I admire the successes of his life. God bless you and your family. Love, Willa Chick White
Paul found his greatest love not in music or trumpet, but in the kindness and grace he discovered in his best friend, Jesus. If he could return for 5 minutes, he would, without doubt, tell his friends to look into the love of God for themselves. So glad for you Paul. You are resting in the arms of your Savior.
Kitsy and family, I’m so very saddened to hear of Paul’s death. My first full-time job was working as Paul’s secretary and bookkeeper at the music store. What a busy and active place! Paul was involved in so many projects–Bell’s and Odell’s music stores, National Guard, Kansas University music department and the Gaslight Gang. He must have stayed up all night writing letters. It took me the better part of the next work day to decipher and type them up. He was a great boss with many good friends and I know he will be greatly missed.
I did not know Paul that well, but those times I talked with him I was impressed with him and the way he talked and presented himself. We bought our sons trumpet at his music store and John (my son) used it during High School and it served him well not like some talented musicians he was not a conceited about the talent he had musically. I also was surprised when he became a minister visited with him sometimes. He will be felt as a loss to the community
I remember the days of KU marching band and the Jazz House…talented man in many ways. Condolences to Kitsy and the family.
Kitty, I was sadden to hear of Paul’s passing. I always enjoyed visiting with him when I would see him. You are in my thoughts. John Warren
Thank you Paul for how you loved and served this Lawrence community so we’ll. The fruits of your labor will continue to flourish. We will see you again. 💕
Kitsy and family – I am saddened to hear of Paul’s passing. I think the last time I saw him was at Dad’s bedside when he was in hospice. Despite the circumstances, Paul told of their shared experiences of life “on the road” with the band. Paul was giving us some comic relief in our sadness. You all are in our thoughts and prayers during this difficult time.
Love,
Terri Bysom Stringer
Stacy Stringer Cordell
Brett Chalmers
Chris Stringer
There are no words that can adequately express the love and admiration we have for our dear friend and mentor of grace. We will miss him dearly until we meet again where there are no more tears or pain in the presence of Papa
We are holding everyone who loves Paul close to our hearts and up in prayer❤️
Paul Gray gave his time and talent to so many Lawrence events. One of my fondest memories is the Bicentennial Ball at Liberty Hall in 1975: Paul with his trumpet opening the evening with inspiration and joy. I also had Paul’s and Kitsy’s children in classes at South Junior High School and I have special memories of those parent conferences. Most recently, Paul has been my guest on Timeline Radio to talk about his books.
The most recent times of his life were wrapped in spirituality by embracing others and bringing them to their own serenity.
I have also known Paul through my brothers, Bruce Roberts and Bryson Roberts. As drummers, they played many times with Paul and their mutual love of jazz brought great fun and excitement to their listeners.
I salute Paul Gray for a life of contrasts and generosity. I am grateful to have known him.
So very sorry to hear of Paul’s passing. My first meeting with Paul was in 1969. I was a high school student at the Midwestern Music and Art Camp, and a member of Russel Wiley’s concert band. Paul was working as the music librarian, which was no small job. Whenever Mr. Wiley needed a piece of music, he would call Paul out of the library, and Paul would present that missing piece in less than two minutes. Mr. Wiley would always thank Paul and mention that Paul was a fine young man. Kitsy got a charge out of that story when I told her many years later. After all these many years, I am certain that Russel Wiley had it right – Paul Gray was a fine young man.
Kitsy and family: I am deeply saddened for your loss. May you find peace and comfort now and in the future. Betty Pickerel
Paul was the leader of the Army Reserve band when I joined the Lawrence unit as Chaplain. As we became friends my sense that Paul was a good man deepened. I will always value the memory of Paul as a lover of music, family and his Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Kitsy, Sharron and I assure you that our prayers are with you and your family.
Kitsy and family, Paul will be missed by so many. Residents of Pioneer Ridge Independent Living traveled to enjoy his band on Friday evenings. After Covid, he brought the band to us. We felt so honored and special. We will miss him very much. We share your pain in losing this very “special” man.
I am so very sorry to hear of Paul’s passing. What an incredibly inspirational man. He was one of my earliest influences as a musician and later for overcoming great obstacles. Wishing you all peace.
I first met Paul in 1970 when he was leading The Gaslight Gang. I was dating the trombone player. (Actually, I dated two separate trombone players in The Gaslight Gang, the second of whom I married and Paul was our Best Man.) Paul was sheer energy, with his bright eyes and huge laugh. And what a talent. There are far too many memories to pick a favorite–but more recently I recall a special phone conversation where his faith and love of life lit me up. Even though my beliefs differed from his in some ways, we found common ground without judgment on either side. Just joy and love for the longtime connection we shared. His role model was Jesus, and it showed. I marveled at the man he had become. He has touched countless lives and was so dearly loved by so many people. I send my heartfelt sympathy to Kitsy and all the wonderful children and grandchildren Paul loved so deeply. I’m certain his spirit will be an everyday presence in all your lives. I send my love to you all.
Paul was a class-A guy. Kind, gentle, and funny.
Peace to all who loved him.
Dear Kitsy and family,
My thoughts and heart go out to you.
Paul was a force, and he leaves us with countless lasting helpful differences he made in our community and beyond.
Chuck and I enjoyed reading Paul’s book.
And of course many a musical collaboration too.
I think about all of those notes that still may be resonating out there – ?
Sending Healing Hugs, Beth Berg and family
Most of the Christians I know are living in Googled Grace. Not Paul. He knew God doesn’t give a fig about the number of followers you have. He knew sin. He knew the Christian life, and he knew how hard it could be. He taught with the freedom of a jazz trumpet, which he played to perfection. An active life makes it hard to rest in peace, I’ll bet. I’ll see you later on the other side. Oh, and thanks for saving my soul.
My favorite line about Heaven comes from the movie It’s a Wonderful Life when Clarence the wingless Angel says, “You should read the book Mark Twain is writing now.” Paul was always joyful, caring, helpful, loving and — above all — productive. My fervent hope is that in Heaven he is all of that now … and more.
My forever Windsor friend beginning at age six! Memories will forever be apart of my cherished childhood. Although the years created our distance, Paul’s memories will last a lifetime. Thinking of you Kitty, your children and grandkids! You were able to share your life and love with one of God’s special warriors! RIP Paul!!
The Tacha family is so sad to hear of Paul’s death. He was an inspiration and uplifting presence to us all. Kitsy, we are thinking of you and the family and thank you for sharing Paul with all of us.
Paul was a such wonderful Christian man. He lived a rich, full life. A giving, kind, benevolent, and thoughtful person. He was one of the first pastors I met when my family moved to Lawrence in 2004. Because of his kindness and ability to listen he quickly became a trusted confidant. My father-in-law could dance the night away with Paul’s horn and the rest of the band. My prayers for you Kitsy and the all of your wonderful family.
Kitsy–We are the work out ladies that saw Paul and J.L. at J and S coffee every Monday morning. Paul always had a smile on his face and something positive to say. We will miss seeing him. Kitsy, we are thinking of you and wish we could take away your pain. Paul was a very special person.
My first memory of Paul is listening to The Gaslight Gang at Shakey’s Pizza Parlor as a child with my parents. My parents and I became great followers of them and their music, which helped instill my love of music and jazz. My parents were also frequent guests at The Jazz Haus and anywhere else Paul played over the years. We were so grateful that Paul played his horn at my father’s funeral in 2020. We send thoughts and prayers to Kitsy and family.
Dear Kitsy and family, Paul and I were so saddened to hear of Paul’s passing. He was a wonderful, kind man with so much talent. We’ll miss seeing him across the street. We’re thinking of you and sending prayers.
I remember Paul David coming out to the farm and we would play baseball. His Mom would come pick him up in a red and white 1955 Chevy. He was a great guy and a good friend with lots of talent. He will be missed. Prayers for Kitsy and family.
Paul David has been my lifelong friend. We attended the same church and schools until college.
He was so talented and loved sharing his talents with everyone.
Kitsy, I’m thinking of you and the kids. Sending love and hugs. This is a hard one.
Paul always gave me more than I ever deserved and gave opportunity to serve in various aspects of being a Christ following servant leader. Paul was a great leader and servant of Christ…loving father..admittedly not perfect but always ready to boldly walk in a live in the perfect love of Jesus. See you in glory some day my friend…
Wow…this is a shock. Paul Gray and his band has been playing for the residence of Pioneer Independent Living for years. At first they just played a few times a year. My mom told me they were her very favorite band so I hired them to play once a month at PRIL. He asked for a certain price for each time they played. I said nope, that is not going to work for me, I am going to pay you double that because you are worth every penny and more. The residence really enjoyed the music and there was no one kinder than Paul. One time he left me a Paul Gray Album which I will always cherish. We are so lucky he shared his talents so freely with us. Wherever Paul was around, there was music and joy. We are sending our condolences to the family. He was a gem and thanks for sharing him with us.
He was there two for the greatest and the saddest moments of my life. He married Ron and I, he was there when Ron died, and brought God back in my life! Both of you will be in my thoughts and prayers forever!
Dear Gray Family,
I am so sorry for your loss, yet rejoice in Paul’s life. God used him to help me know and follow Christ more fully, for which I am eternally grateful. I look forward to hearing his music and voice again in the new heavens and the new earth as we worship God together.
I have known Paul David since he was in 1st grade. He will be missed. Prayers for Kitsy and the family.
I have only known Paul for about 2 years. Only talked to each other on the internet; yet flood of tears flowed out like a river. That was the kind of impact he had in my life in this short time. He was such a Precious brother ; and yes, He still IS !!! He is still with us “IN” the body of Christ. Much love and hugs to the whole family 🙏❤️❤️❤️🙏
Paul was such a kind friend. He will be missed, but his records and memorial albums for Skipper and Odd are still a cherished part of my collection. All of my love to Kitsy and family.
Kitty, Taci, Jody, Jay….I’m brokenhearted with you.
Paul was a kind, intelligent, talented and truly special friend. He will be missed greatly.
Kitsy and family – I am so sorry about your loss of Paul. I remember how many times we would see him coming to pick you up at the Tri Delta house. Such fun times. He made such a difference in people’s lives through church and music. It helps to know he is with Jesus now and you will see him again. God Bless. Love, Kathy
I’ve known Paul all my life. There are memories from grade school and high school and catching up at class reunions.
I’m sorry for his loss. He will be missed by so many. Kitsy, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you can find peace and comfort in this time of sorrow.
Kitty and family,
John and I want to send prayers for you and your family. We remember him from the Free Methodist church here in Lawrence.
First time I met Paul was when the church met on New Hampshire st. The weather was perfect for the fall. Breeze blowing across the auditorium with Chuck Mangione playing Feels so Good. Thought to myself, yea, this will do. A greeting every time was, Good to see ya, with my reply of good to be seen. Until we meet again, It’ll be good to see ya.
Kitsy & family, so sorry for your loss.
How sad to learn of Paul’s passing. I first met him at KU School of music. We had Miss Cass for sight-singing & ear-training. He made that class fun! Later in life I got to enjoy some of his his performances with the Gaslight Gang! In the 80’s, I got to meet Kitsy & Paul’s family when I helped them sell their home. It was wonderful to reconnect. He was a dynamic guy who always seemed to follow his conscience as he fully and sincerely engaged in improving people’s lives. After reading many comments it seems he inspired us all! A life well lived.
When you think of the perfect pair….you think of Kitsy and Paul. Their smiles lit up the room. Their pleasant words were always just the right ones. At our class reunions they were always circulating saying Hi and reminiscing of days gone by. I wish I had known him better……
I always got such a kick out of Paul in those earlier days in the Lawrence music scene. He was a great prankster. That joke he (and you, Kitsy) played on Jim Stringer… Paul making him think he was fooling around with another woman, while Jim was supposed to cover for him with you, Kitsy. And, all those hijinks with Harold “Moon” Keen — it brings a smile to my face just remembering. Paul was a great guy, and spread so much joy in his life with his music and his upbeat spirit. The man had sparkle! Very sad to hear he has left us. Sending sympathy and love to you all.
More than any other person, Paul brought us to the Lord in the most meaningful of ways. He taught us that God loves us and wants to “do life” with us, and that He is a God of Grace not punishment. Paul was a disciple of the Lord right through the time he went to be with Him, and he continues to be a disciple of the Lord in our hearts forever. Lest this message gets too mushy, Paul was a world class musician and a Kansas Jayhawk. We hope the Lord will designate him “lead trumpeter among the angels,” and keep him updated regarding Kansas football’s 2022 season.
I was shocked and saddened at the news of Paul’s passing. Paul wore many hats in his amazing life; musician, band leader, businessman, entrepreneur, and pastor. Every chapter held wonderful stories and memories, many of which I had the honor of being a part of. My thoughts and prayers go out to Kitsy and family,
Oh, Kitsy, I am so sorry for the temporary loss of your dear husband whom I never had the pleasure of meeting. He will be waiting for you in heaven. I know you both have touched many lives. God bless and comfort you and your family until we all meet again.✝️🙏💕
Kitsy and family, I am sorry to hear of Paul’s passing. He was such a devoted Christian, and this showed to everyone that knew him. My mother Colleen Ingram (deceased) thought the world of Paul and you. We first met him through Amway. Mom always talked highly of Paul. He was such a great contributor in our community. Such great memories.
Kitsy and family, I am so sorry to hear about Paul David’s passing. Paul and I were good friends since the third grade in Windsor. We played a lot of baseball together and even co-authored a newspaper when we were sixth graders. I will always remember his love of the St Louis Cardinals and particularly Stan Musial. I know he will be missed by everyone who was lucky enough to know him.
I learned only this morning that Paul had passed away. I was so sorry…and terribly sad.
Every memory of Paul and his music is a favorite of mine.
He was one of the first people I remember meeting when we moved to Lawrence. I considered him my friend.
I went everywhere he was playing music, and back in those days there were many places: upstairs over his store, summer brown bag concerts at 9th and Mass., Band Day parades and church.
My mother was in her 70s when she visited, along with two of my sisters, and I took them all climbing up that back fire escape to hear his Gaslight Gang one Saturday night. She LOVED it.
When we bought a piano in 1976, he told me, “Get your kids into sports, and they’ll have a life for a while. Put your kids into music, and they’ll have it their entire lives.” I never forgot that. My kids proved him right.
Thank you, thank you, Paul, for your records, cds, the book you gave me, and so many happy memories. We’ll miss you.
I knew Paul from our time in the KU band. As a transplant from Missouri, he was a positive fixture in the band–always ready to help anyone new. The Gaslight Gang was the best. Paul also gave to the Lawrence downtown community, keeping a music store in business when it was sorely needed. Heaven has a new Herald Trumpet to play for those coming ‘Home’.
Gott mit uns
Kitsy and family, it is with sadness that I send you this message of sympathy in your huge loss. I am sure you have voluminous memories of happy times in your lives and hope that now those wonderful memories will help you through the present grief. In the future look back on those same memories and rejoice in having had them, good memories are the gifts we are given for the love we have shared. Thinking of you in this sad time.
Kitty – I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Thinking of you during this difficult time.
Kitsy, Tacy, Jody, and Jay —
Thank you for Paul. Back in the old Amway days, we got to know you all and always admired and loved you — when you moved to Flint Street so many years ago, it was good to have you in the neighborhood. So good to see you all several weeks ago at the Mad Greek and a memory we shall cherish. One of my favorite memories is of him and the Gaslight Gang playing at Skipper Williams’ services many many years ago and Butch Henderson remarking that Skipper would have enjoyed that so much. We are heartbroken that Paul is gone, far too soon, but we know that the strength you all share is with you today.
Pam and John Baughman — and Jim, Jed, and especially Johnny B.
Paul’s life affected thousands of people and his music affected so many more. His passing will be marked by many. I had the privilege of knowing him for decades, and not so long ago, we both performed at a funeral, and shared music to comfort others. As always, he gave his brilliant talent and compassionate heart to lift others. Paul Gray is an indelible part of Lawrence, Kansas history, and he will be missed! Gaslight Gang—I was hearing about him even when I was a Junior High student at Central. Thank you, sir, for your music and your intelligence and your dedication to others.
Sending lots of love and prayers for comfort to the family… to the community as well, because our light here in Lawrence, is dimmer with his passing. Godspeed.
What a wonderful man that will be sorely missed! We are so sad, the world is definitely a better place because his mother chose life!
Kitsy and family: I am deeply saddened by the loss of Paul for your family and all who knew him. He will be sorely missed! Love and prayers to your family!
So sorry to hear the passing of Paul. I knew Paul in the early eighties when I played in the 312th Army Reserve Band. I remember meeting him at his jazz place to audition. I played Edvard Grieg’s Solveig’s Song. He actually needed a piano player but I got a place as a flutist. He was such an easy-going leader and the band was good! Lots to say about those years, but most importantly was the decent and talented man that Paul was.
My respect for Paul and his family. Bless you.
Anne Skjong Stavanger, Norway
Paul was a great friend who changed my life and the lives of countless others. He invited, then persuaded me to take over the Leo Center and Heartland Medical Clinic in 2006, which started in the basement of his church and has since grown in services and staff and patients served by leaps and bounds. It was there that I learned about the problem of homeless children and their families in the Lawrence Community. That, in turn, led to the founding of Family Promise of Lawrence in 2008, which has transformed the lives of God knows how many homeless families over the years. Thirty-five faith congregations have supported Family Promise in many ways, including the efforts of nearly two thousand volunteers. Their working together to effectively serve those families broke down the barriers among the faithful from every faith tradition, including Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, and evangelical, non-denominational and mainline Christian believers. And their cooperation rapidly increased the awareness of the plight and extent of homelessness in Douglas County. That, in turn, fueled the community’s efforts to address it and other social problems, including Justice Matters. As in the parable of the mustard seed, Paul was the planter. I will be, literally, forever grateful for Paul’s impact on my life and countless others.
Well done, good and faithful servant. You are God’s favorite, Paul. Love to Kitsy, Jody, Irwin and family.
Kitsy and family, my deep sympathies for your loss and grief. May the God of all hope fill you with His unique and personal comfort.
Paul was a good person. We always enjoyed being around him with his sense of humor and positivity. Paul left his mark on this earth. He will be missed. Condolences to Kitsy and the family.
Steve and Carla Ramirez
Kitsy and Family,
Dennis and I were so saddened to hear of Paul’s passing. He was such a kind man and we will miss seeing him around. I remember hearing him practicing his trumpet and sermons. I loved seeing him outside on the front porch reading his bible. He was such an inspiration each morning. He will be missed. Please reach out if you need anything.
We both have countless memories of Paul. Among other things, he was best man at our wedding! Our memories center around music, mostly, and they’re wonderful to recall. And boy, did we laugh a lot. It was great fun. Over the years, we watched as Paul moved toward a life of faith and service. It was so heartfelt. Simply amazing. Paul has touched countless people and changed their lives. He will be terribly missed. We send our love to Kitsy and the entire family.
I had the privilege of buying a beautiful Steinway and Sons baby grand piano from Paul and Kitsy. I’ll be reminded of Paul every time I play the piano. I also shared a meal with Paul and Kitsy twice. He will be sorely missed
Paul and Kitsy were instrumental in helping my son Caleb and I during a difficult time. They exhibited the grace and love of Christ in all they did. We are rejoicing for this talented musician being in the presence of God but also thinking of Kitsy and the family as they grieve. May the comfort of the Spirit be ever present.
My thoughts go out to Kitsy and family. Most of the great musicians I have played with were in the Gaslight Gang and the Vista Orchestra. I talked to drummer Johnny Moore the day Paul died and of course the conversation turned to stories of “life on the road.” We all have Paul to thank for making those memories possible.
Paul was a big sports fan and baseball was his first love! He was on a little league team named the cardinals, holding down 2nd base. His mom would make pie dough and Paul would chew it during the game as a sub for real big-league chew. Later, in college, he would come home and we would play town team baseball in tightwad mo. Rock chalk Jayhawks! Great friend
I remember Paul from Windsor High School and he was always fun to be around. I can see him next to Gabriel playing there trumpet. Paul lived close by and there were many times I could here him playing his trumpet. Paul is one you don’t forget. His legacy will live on. My prayers go out too his entire family during this time.
Pat Boothe
Paul played a concert with the gaslight gang at Windsor high in 1969. They were outstanding! I remember going to Lawrence to watch the big eight Christmas tournament in Kansas City. Years ago, Paul brought some youngsters to a skateboard park in Columbia and we had a great visit.
Prayers to kitty and family.