Daniel Richard Desrosiers
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Daniel Richard Desrosiers, born June 12, 1972 and died August 20, 2018. His life was a series of contradictions. He was loved, he was tolerated, and he was hated. He loved his children with all his heart and ignored them most of his life. He hoped for the best, but expected the worst, and life mostly met his expectations. He struggled with depression and addiction the last 30 years of his life, and also had to struggle with diabetes the last 15 years as well. He was brave and courageous and a coward. He lost track of how many times he went into rehab but he could tell you how many times he failed; every time. He loved many women, but three were special; Jessie, his first love and mother of his daughter, Angel; Amber, his wife, and mother of his namesake, Richard; and Mandy, his last love and mother of his son, Kash. He felt his children were his greatest achievement in life, but many of his friends did not know he had children.
Dan was a mostly happy child. He grew up in Oklahoma, spending his youth in rural areas. He got a brief glimpse of Bigfoot at age 6 (he claimed), and watched every Bigfoot themed program until his death, waiting for validation. He had a pet Easter egg chick he hand-fed and was devastated when it died. He loved riding his Shetland pony, an old retired carnival pony that never made it far before he turned around and returned to the barn, despite Danny’s efforts to continue riding. His “special needs” dog, Missy, had 4 puppies and was terrified of them. She refused to nurse them, so Danny held her down, put all 4 puppies on to nurse and continued to do so until she understood. He was only 6, but already would analyze a problem, take action, and follow through until the goal was achieved.
He loved animals, and his son Kash inherited this same loved of animals, as well as Dan’s love of fishing. Dan caught his first fish at age 4 and fishing became a lifelong passion and relief from the pain and struggles.
Dan had a sweet and generous nature that his daughter Angel inherited. Many never saw that side of Dan, as his addictions caused him to be self-centered and sometimes cruel. He deeply regretted many of his behaviors but guilt overwhelmed him and made it difficult to say “I’m sorry”. He regretted all his terrible drug and alcohol fueled behavior and in his last days grieved that he could not make amends to all those who he’d hurt.
His son Richard inherited his good looks and great sense of humor. Dan saw his world as life in the “Far Side” comic; ironic, off kilter, sad but somehow laughable. Dan was often a “jerk” but his friends forgave him because he made them laugh.
Dan probably got his great sense of humor from his beloved grandfather, Richard. He adored his granddad, and the feeling was returned. When his granddad died, Dan became unbearably sad. He could not talk about his grief then, or ever. This failure to express pain and sadness became a lifelong problem, and ongoing depression that burdened him always. Medication, alcohol and drugs became his way of coping with life. But he never got any true relief and his pain and suffering worsened from complications of diabetes. Dan lived with unimaginable pain the last several years of his life and only in death found an end to his suffering. The friends and family who loved Dan will miss him every day. He was a child of God who tried his best to do well, often failed, rarely complained, and hoped, at the end, to finally find peace in an afterlife, reuniting with all those he had loved and lost.
In lieu of flowers, his family requests contributions to the funeral fund or college fund for his sons, Richard and Kash and may be sent in care of Warren-McElwain Mortuary.
Prayers and condolences to Dan’s family I am so sorry for your loss Dan was a very good man and I am grateful to have met him.
Just happened upon this as I was looking for someone else’s obituary. I have to say it’s one of the most honest and interesting obits I have ever read. I hope Dan is at peace and that his children have good lives. Thank you.
What a beautiful, unique, and honest obituary. We are all human and have our imperfections and faults. My condolences to you Penny and all your family, and thank you for sharing your son’s story with all his struggles in life. May he Rest In Peace with God who is all loving, understanding, and welcoming with open arms. God Bless all you and all your family.
I came to know Dan just a little bit within the last several weeks as he lived at least a portion of the time with my brother. My brother has experienced his share of life’s challenges, too, and he characterized he and Dan’s relationship as one in which each was looking out for the other. A few weeks ago, Dan was having a sudden health issue which left him unable to drive. My brother called to ask if I could pick him up, and to take him to the campground where they were staying. On the way to the campground in the car, Dan began having real issues with his blood sugar. When we arrived in the campground, he was unable to communicate. I had an ambulance called, then I found food he had just purchased in the back of the vehicle, and I gave him some of that. He improved some, but he was still in trouble. While we were waiting, I asked if I could pray for him. He said yes. So I put my hands upon him and prayed. The ambulance eventually came. Once they gave him some glucose, he was back to normal in almost no time. By that time, we had identified where their campsite was, and I took him there. He was so appreciative of my help. While saying our good-byes at the campsite, Dan asked my brother if they could go to church the following day, and my brother said they would. With many, many years having passed since my brother had set foot in church, I didn’t really know if they would come. The following morning, I was very happy to see them arrive!! The service was good. A good message was given. After the service, Dan’s appreciation was still evident, as he gave my wife and I some produce and herbs from Mom’s garden. They wanted to take pictures and everything. So we did. For various reasons, Dan and my brother were unable to attend the following Sunday, and then for the weeks that followed. My brother kept telling me that Dan really wanted to get back to church. Two or three weeks ago, they were back again. Although, Dan only came to our church a couple of times, I sensed in him a desire to begin working on his relationship with God. I was very surprised to learn of Dan’s death when I heard last week. In the final weeks of his life, I think Dan did indeed recognize his own faults and frailties, and he knew the only One who could save him from that was his Savior. And this is true for all of us. We all walk through life with our imperfections, and only God can lead us through these trials and into eternity. May God bless you and your family in this time of loss. May He give you peace, comfort, and some great memories, also.
He was an ok dad I’m glad he was here and I’m glad he’s gone so his suffering could end